Top Top Pundit: Exclusive interview with Brendan Rodgers

by Top Top Pundit

Irish-based Twitter account @TopTopPundit is a Twitter sensation, having sensationally lost more than 10,000 followers since Jamie Redknapp’s legal team forced him to change his @LiterallyJamie username.

Undeterred by this setback, @TopTopPundit continues to light up Twitter with the intensity of a spent glowstick in a nightclub urinal. Do you know that joke about John Terry turning up to a celebration for an event he didn’t compete in? @TopTopPundit was amongst the first 80 people to post that.

“You are not funny anymore. Unfollowed.” Most of Twitter

As a special treat for Back Page Football readers, @TopTopPundit has embarked on a series of interviews with weak parodies of football’s easiest targets.

Ahead of Swansea’s visit to Anfield this weekend, @TopTopPundit meets… Brendan Rodgers.

  • @TopTopPundit Hello Br…

Brendan Rodgers Some people ask ‘if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound’. If a tree was about to fall, I would put my arm around it. Tell it things. “I’m around.” I’d say. “I’ll always be around, tree. Okay? I’ll hear your sound. Me. You. Your sound. We can achieve things together, here in this fictional wood”.

 

That tree wouldn’t fall, son. It would fly. Fly to the moon.

 

And then what would we have? Brendan Rodgers’ moon tree, that’s what. Does Michael Laudrup have a moon tree? You’d have to ask him, I don’t comment on the interstellar arboreal deficiencies of other managers.

  • @TopTopPundit …right. Laudrup then. He’s doing well.

Brendan Rodgers Brendan Rodgers does not like to take all the credit for Swansea’s ongoing success. So, I do so with a heavy heart.

 

When I met that young Dane, I told him Swansea folk like three things; Rosie Webster’s sumptuous breasts, and winning. Being a rookie, Laudrup all but sold those mercenary breasts to the Arabs. But, young Laudrup heeded my words about winning, and the rest is history.

 

I also remember greeting him with “pleased to meet you” which, unbeknown to me at the time, was a coded message about Michu.

 

Brendan Rodgers works in mysterious ways.

  • @TopTopPundit And how do you find Liverpool?

Brendan Rodgers Via the integrated sat nav console in my Porsche Panamera Turbo S! A little joke there. Brendan Rodgers enjoys the joke process 80% more than the next man.

 

But football is not a joke. Bill Shankly once told me “Football’s not a matter of life and death… it’s more important than that”. And true to his word, Bill died retrieving a Mitre Multiplex from a house fire.

 

Like Bill, I get Liverpool. I know these people. They want pass. They want move. They want groove; it’s in their heart. They know that it’s not the winning that counts. It’s a Jonjo / Jordan one-two. Ping. Pang. Throw in.

  • @TopTopPundit Finally Brendan, just what is in those famous envelopes?

Brendan Rodgers Each contains a betting slip.

 

13/2 on Manchester United to win the League.

 

I put our end-of-season party budget on it.

 

Brendan Rodgers always wins. Especially when he loses.

Follow me on Twitter.

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