Andy Carroll: “Inglorious Basterd”

One must understand the term “Inglorious Basterd” to grasp this article.

Yeah, if you have watched the Quentin Tarantino flick then maybe you know half of it, but I will try to simplify it in order to bridge a “common ground”—and to make one comprehend of what sense I take this term for.

Inglorious: Not glorious, not bringing honor or glory; Obscure; Disgraceful.

Basterd: This is one “special” term with “e” that you use for a person who compels you into doing something that you do not want to do. The person has become so much of an impact and influence that you are left with no option but to surrender against your will. (Start using it more, will ya?)

Inglorious Basterd: Not an “archetypical” hero. A man with his own ways to follow and the one who makes others follow him in one way or another—a person with new-found glory, a person with no other superlatives.

Making of an “Inglorious Basterd”:

Andrew Carroll was born in Gateshead, Tyne and Wyre on 6th of Jan. 1989. The now almost 22 years old, 6ft 4in “hollow hulk” never knew what fate had in store for him. The life of some footballers has been some sort of source of amusement, contempt, and “graceful sympathy” if you are a player named Joey Barton. Andy’s life has rotated on same fateful axis, to say the least.

He has accumulated more “praise and applause” from ‘Bad-Boys Circa’ for his off-the-filed antics than his scintillating on-the-field performances (few but counting) from his critics.

Installed in Newcastle United as a youth prospect in 2005, it is incumbent on me to say that Andy Carroll has lived a life of decades in last five years who was never tired of intromitting his life in to procumbent tales of assault charges and bust-ups with team-mates into playing recumbent roles as ‘savior’ and ‘Geordie Messiah’ of Newcastle along with rehabilitation with Kevin Nolan and all.

Much debate instigated last night amidst the speculation, offer, and confirmation of Carroll’s move to Liverpool Football Club. The £35million transfer fee remained the fuel to the fire. Many factors played the role in this mammoth bid for an “unproven” player.

I would like to take it as an ‘investment’ by LFC rather than taking £35M as a face value of Carroll’s services—and as a pretty brave and bold statement of ‘Boston Clan Ambitions’.

The transfers of Edin Dzeko and Darren Bent and the fee involved in their respective bids already set the tone that how this odd, berserk January transfer window will play out eventually if people had forgotten Andy Carroll’s signature on five-year deal with Newcastle United just back in October. Let’s not forget another important factor that Andrew Carroll will only be 23 years of age in few days who can be mentored and guided in becoming one of bright prospects for the future of England.

Likewise, others factors must have played their part in this. I am not an agent or accounting firm representative but merely a fan and believe that what’s done is done and it is irrelevant to compare the transfers to the ones done in past because if that’s the case then the £28M transfer of Sebastian Veron to Manchester United, and that was in 2000, will always remain as an unfathomed myth to me till the ending days of my life.

The captious nature of British media—as they never hesitate to throw-in and ridicule the sorry personal lives of their England heroes—can cause a denting and critical damage in Andy Carroll’s progress but the same media, if situation arises, can restore the faith in Carroll’s development and rally behind him by playing encouraging role for the long-term success of England.

After all, Andrew Carroll is going to draw Fabio Capello (and other future England managers) to Anfield more often, now onwards.

It will be intriguing yet interesting to see how Carroll provided with a prestige of LFC stature and much bigger stage than Newcastle; will chase away the demons that have frequently dogged him all his life—or not.

I, for one, believe that Andrew Carroll; provided with the companionship of world class player such as Steven Gerrard, tactically enriched-mind of Carragher, and surrounded by versatile player like Raul Meireles can explode big time on big stage. We also should not forget the presence and aura of Kenny Dalglish whose guidance (in this reported short six-month term) will play a major, major part in harnessing the wild horses of Carroll—same is true for Luis Suarez as far as character development is concerned.

Surely, Andy Carroll is nowhere near to world class quality but he has all the potential to be one of the best in business around.

He beats the offside-traps really well, can score off the both feet with same power and accuracy, takes great advantage of his impeccable power in air, scores in big matches, and uses his frightening height correctly. With little grooming and the presence of quality players around him, he surely can be your go-getter and the world-beater.

Let’s say if Ian Holloway praises you after watching you play against his team then you really must be good while Kevin Keegan said this:

He is probably in the top three headers of a ball I have ever seen in football.

In Andrew Carroll, it’s not the case of what his real worth is but what he really can offer in long-term for LFC and England. If things click, it would be priceless. If not, then the world didn’t perish in the frenetic times of George Best and Paul Gascoigne and the world won’t implode in the times of Andy Carroll, too.

Andy Carroll has a task ahead and somewhat this task has some gargantuan kind of quality to it as many things depend on his transitional role in football world. He has to remonstrate his past, expostulate the British media, fight his own demons, and completely change the course of axis on which his entire football-life has rotated till this day.

Don’t leave the lad alone in this.

Suffice to say that the “bar-tool incident” which took place earlier this month was a benthic that Andy could hit when he fell off in the bar and made himself a laughing stock at 5 in the morning in front of other people. He went through an agonizing experience.

Here’s for hoping that he will come out of the abyss as he can’t go any deeper from here. Here’s for hoping that he will raise himself and steer the ship of his footballing career with iron fist.

Andy Carroll scored his first senior goal for Newcastle United in a 2-0 friendly win against Juventus where Buffon tipped him to have good future. If Buffon is having last laugh today or not, we’ll never know but one thing is sure that Andy Carroll has got the biggest lifeline in his career.

Will Andy Carroll make the most of this special guerdon bestowed to him and cherish it in long-term? Time will tell. For now, Andy Carroll is our “Inglorious Basterd”.

Author Details


Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost — Totti's Disciple. Bundesliga. Passing interest in Russian & Portuguese League. MotoGP, F1, & Tennis. Suffering from 'Neverkusen Syndrome' since 2001.

4 thoughts on “Andy Carroll: “Inglorious Basterd”

  1. Great read. I just hope that he can meet up to the high expectations that fans have thereby justifying his purchase. He has the potential to rise up to be a legend in our days. I hope he doesnt blow this opportunity on the big stage. I hope he gets the mentoring that he needs at this stage of his career too as that can go a long way to making a great difference/contribution in him reaching his potential.

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