100 things we hate about football

by Back Page Football

We wouldn’t be here was it not for the beautiful game. But it’s not always beautiful. Here are 100 things in football that really gets under our skin.

Tell us what grinds your gears in the comments section.

  1. Corners that don’t beat the first man
  2. Fans that leave before the end of the game
  3. When music is played after a goal
  4. Diving
  5. Feigning and exaggerating injury
  6. Kit changes every year
  7. The term ‘footy’ or ‘footie’
  8. Foul throws not being called up on
  9. International breaks
  10. Yellow cards for over-zealous celebrations
  11. Footballers’ wages
  12. When the referee measures back the wall but they encroach when his back is turned
  13. Half-and-half scarves
  14. Fans who blindly defend everything about their club
  15. Short corners
  16. Adrian Chiles
  17. Over complicated free-kicks that hit the wall
  18. Groans when the ball is forced back to the goalkeeper
  19. Refusal to accept multi-coloured boots
  20. Being reminded that Gary Neville is a good pundit the moment he says something reasonable
  21. When players surround the referee pleading for a decision
  22. Match Of The Day’s bland and boring analysis
  23. Players not celebrating against a club they played for five years ago
  24. Long, drawn-out transfer sagas
  25. “2-0 is a dangerous lead”
  26. British analysts’ ignorance towards foreign leagues
  27. Free-kicks that are played backwards
  28. Naming rights for stadiums
  29. The Soccer AM generation and its horrible ‘banter’
  30. Time-wasting goalkeepers
  31. Made-up transfer rumours from tabloids and websites
  32. Jon Champion’s commentary
  33. Gloves with short sleeves
  34. Billionaire clubs that buy success
  35. World Cup 2022 being in Qatar
  36. Sepp Blatter
  37. Jamie Redknapp
  38. Being reminded from someone other than Jamie Redknapp about his incorrect use of the word ‘literally’
  39. The idea that all Americans are clueless towards soccer
  40. Goalkeepers that wear tracksuit bottoms
  41. Paul Merson’s inability to correctly pronounce player names
  42. Transfer fee analysis from fans
  43. Craig Burley
  44. Someone who accuses another of ‘not being a real fan’
  45. Over-analysing a game at the expense of enjoying it
  46. Journalists that think they’re more important than they really are
  47. Ripping into Stoke because they don’t play like Barcelona
  48. The Barcelona and Real Madrid circle-jerk
  49. Describing a position using words that end in “ista”, i.e. “Regista”, “Triquertista”
  50. The sponsor on the Ireland shirt
  51. David ”Good evening ladies and gentleman” Pleat
  52. Gareth Bale’s heart celebration
  53. “But can he do it on a cold…” Stop. Just stop.
  54. People who claim to know all about obscure players when in reality they signed them once in Football Manager
  55. John Terry being photoshopped into every single celebration, football or otherwise
  56. “You’re from Ireland so you support Celtic right?”
  57. iPads in the crowd
  58. “He’s not that type of player”
  59. The FA Cup Final kicking off at 5.15pm
  60. FIFA rankings
  61. Adidas Predators – bring back the tongue!
  62. The over protection of goalkeepers
  63. Club Wembley, no one likes seeing empty seats at a big game
  64. The ambiguity of the offside rule
  65. The bastardisation of the term “World Class”
  66. Shushing opposition fans after scoring
  67. The FAI
  68. Badge kissing
  69. Fans booing their own team/players/manager
  70. Wanting a rival team’s player to score for fantasy football purposes
  71. Fans who spend more time talking about rival clubs
  72. Full kit wankers
  73. Paddy Crerand
  74. The obsession with statistics
  75. Sloop John B
  76. Journalists using a tweet as the sole source for a story
  77. Inverted wingers
  78. The majority of fan generated player nicknames / fans who refer to players on a first-name basis
  79. Waving imaginary cards
  80. Undisclosed transfer fees
  81. Hillsborough/Munich/other disaster chants
  82. Racism
  83. Players storming down the tunnel after being substituted
  84. Your own country failing to qualify for a major tournament
  85. “He was going for the ball”
  86. Ray Wilkins
  87. Fouls not given in the box that would be given outside the box
  88. Sarcastic use of the term “good feet for a big man”
  89. Eamon Dunphy telling us about the one La Liga/Bundesliga game he’s seen during every Champions League match
  90. The media frenzy and expectation around the England national team
  91. Being told that the latest football is “lighter and rounder than ever”
  92. Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week
  93. Geoff Shreeves-style interviews
  94. The push to outlaw tackling once and for all
  95. Owners who mismanage clubs to the point of receivership or worse
  96. People forming opinions of players based on two minute YouTube videos
  97. Fans who get their own names/”witty slogans” on the back of jerseys
  98. Mark Lawrenson’s predictions
  99. Referees not applying the six second rule, it still exists
  100. Twitter, yet we just can’t turn it off

 

Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments section below or on Twitter collectively and individually – @neighmar11 / @neilsherwin!

16 Responses

  1. LOI Stats says:

    It might be the heat and sun getting to me, but maybe a “100 things we love about football” is in order?

  2. Laolu Olaitan says:

    Your analysis was superb & qualitative! Kudos to you! Let me just draw your attention to some areas. 1 Referees that obstruct play with his physical contact. 2 Referees who deliberately make sure a particular team lose a game. 3 Referees getting away without punishment even with a glaring evident of “malpractice”. 4 Wrong referees decisions binding on teams without reverse from the Football authority. Etc. Note my friend that some Referees are corrupt & bias, they are actually doing more harm than good to the game.

  3. Kevin Galvin Kevin Galvin says:

    The phrase ‘A Good Height for the Keeper’, though nearly every one of those suggestions are valid.

    Also, how has Chris Kamara made career at being totally incompetent at his job?

  4. Les says:

    “Referees who deliberately make sure a particular team lose a game. ”

    That attitude makes my 100 list, baseless paranoia that all refs hate your team.

    Grow up.

  5. Matt says:

    Nice list guys – agree with most of it!

    One of my pet hates is the ignorance towards zonal marking. Niall Quinn gets on my tits in general too.

  6. Mike says:

    Co-commentators seeing a goal-line incident replay from a raised camera angle, seeing a bit of grass between the ball (in the air) and the line, and saying ‘It’s clearly over the line’.

  7. The word “Tekkers”. Altho that can go under the Soccer Am one. And commentators saying “If he put it to the left or right of the keeper”…Well duh! The World Cup in Qatar. And the big one….. Sepp Blatter.

  8. Mark Godfrey says:

    Any chance you could include Craig Burley twice?

  9. Oops, just realised that Sepp is already there!

  10. Liam Corbett lpcorbett says:

    101. Liam Ridgewell
    102. “He’s human after all”

  11. Michael Doyle says:

    Having to hear Gary Neville’s orgasm sound and liking it

    Parking the bus.

    Hearing the commentator and pundits applaud a team of orcs who park said bus and kick and hack their way to an undeserved draw. Only to be told that they deserved that.

    As an arsenal fan, it’s been x years since they won anything… Every game….. I KNOW

  12. MrTuktoyaktuk says:

    “Game of two halves”

    Sepp Blatter should be on there 3 times.

  13. Daniel Serrano says:

    The horrible and annoying FIFA order to change traditional uniforms to one or two-colored ones.

  14. Todd Ashton says:

    #22 could simply be shortened to “Match of the Day”.

  15. Alex says:

    It really should’ve been….

    20. Multi-coloured boots

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