We wouldn’t be here was it not for the beautiful game. But it’s not always beautiful. Here are 100 things in football that really gets under our skin.
Tell us what grinds your gears in the comments section.
- Corners that don’t beat the first man
- Fans that leave before the end of the game
- When music is played after a goal
- Diving
- Feigning and exaggerating injury
- Kit changes every year
- The term ‘footy’ or ‘footie’
- Foul throws not being called up on
- International breaks
- Yellow cards for over-zealous celebrations
- Footballers’ wages
- When the referee measures back the wall but they encroach when his back is turned
- Half-and-half scarves
- Fans who blindly defend everything about their club
- Short corners
- Adrian Chiles
- Over complicated free-kicks that hit the wall
- Groans when the ball is forced back to the goalkeeper
- Refusal to accept multi-coloured boots
- Being reminded that Gary Neville is a good pundit the moment he says something reasonable
- When players surround the referee pleading for a decision
- Match Of The Day’s bland and boring analysis
- Players not celebrating against a club they played for five years ago
- Long, drawn-out transfer sagas
- “2-0 is a dangerous lead”
- British analysts’ ignorance towards foreign leagues
- Free-kicks that are played backwards
- Naming rights for stadiums
- The Soccer AM generation and its horrible ‘banter’
- Time-wasting goalkeepers
- Made-up transfer rumours from tabloids and websites
- Jon Champion’s commentary
- Gloves with short sleeves
- Billionaire clubs that buy success
- World Cup 2022 being in Qatar
- Sepp Blatter
- Jamie Redknapp
- Being reminded from someone other than Jamie Redknapp about his incorrect use of the word ‘literally’
- The idea that all Americans are clueless towards soccer
- Goalkeepers that wear tracksuit bottoms
- Paul Merson’s inability to correctly pronounce player names
- Transfer fee analysis from fans
- Craig Burley
- Someone who accuses another of ‘not being a real fan’
- Over-analysing a game at the expense of enjoying it
- Journalists that think they’re more important than they really are
- Ripping into Stoke because they don’t play like Barcelona
- The Barcelona and Real Madrid circle-jerk
- Describing a position using words that end in “ista”, i.e. “Regista”, “Triquertista”
- The sponsor on the Ireland shirt
- David ”Good evening ladies and gentleman” Pleat
- Gareth Bale’s heart celebration
- “But can he do it on a cold…” Stop. Just stop.
- People who claim to know all about obscure players when in reality they signed them once in Football Manager
- John Terry being photoshopped into every single celebration, football or otherwise
- “You’re from Ireland so you support Celtic right?”
- iPads in the crowd
- “He’s not that type of player”
- The FA Cup Final kicking off at 5.15pm
- FIFA rankings
- Adidas Predators – bring back the tongue!
- The over protection of goalkeepers
- Club Wembley, no one likes seeing empty seats at a big game
- The ambiguity of the offside rule
- The bastardisation of the term “World Class”
- Shushing opposition fans after scoring
- The FAI
- Badge kissing
- Fans booing their own team/players/manager
- Wanting a rival team’s player to score for fantasy football purposes
- Fans who spend more time talking about rival clubs
- Full kit wankers
- Paddy Crerand
- The obsession with statistics
- Sloop John B
- Journalists using a tweet as the sole source for a story
- Inverted wingers
- The majority of fan generated player nicknames / fans who refer to players on a first-name basis
- Waving imaginary cards
- Undisclosed transfer fees
- Hillsborough/Munich/other disaster chants
- Racism
- Players storming down the tunnel after being substituted
- Your own country failing to qualify for a major tournament
- “He was going for the ball”
- Ray Wilkins
- Fouls not given in the box that would be given outside the box
- Sarcastic use of the term “good feet for a big man”
- Eamon Dunphy telling us about the one La Liga/Bundesliga game he’s seen during every Champions League match
- The media frenzy and expectation around the England national team
- Being told that the latest football is “lighter and rounder than ever”
- Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week
- Geoff Shreeves-style interviews
- The push to outlaw tackling once and for all
- Owners who mismanage clubs to the point of receivership or worse
- People forming opinions of players based on two minute YouTube videos
- Fans who get their own names/”witty slogans” on the back of jerseys
- Mark Lawrenson’s predictions
- Referees not applying the six second rule, it still exists
- Twitter, yet we just can’t turn it off
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments section below or on Twitter collectively and individually – @neighmar11 / @neilsherwin!
It might be the heat and sun getting to me, but maybe a “100 things we love about football” is in order?
Your analysis was superb & qualitative! Kudos to you! Let me just draw your attention to some areas. 1 Referees that obstruct play with his physical contact. 2 Referees who deliberately make sure a particular team lose a game. 3 Referees getting away without punishment even with a glaring evident of “malpractice”. 4 Wrong referees decisions binding on teams without reverse from the Football authority. Etc. Note my friend that some Referees are corrupt & bias, they are actually doing more harm than good to the game.
The phrase ‘A Good Height for the Keeper’, though nearly every one of those suggestions are valid.
Also, how has Chris Kamara made career at being totally incompetent at his job?
“Referees who deliberately make sure a particular team lose a game. ”
That attitude makes my 100 list, baseless paranoia that all refs hate your team.
Grow up.
Nice list guys – agree with most of it!
One of my pet hates is the ignorance towards zonal marking. Niall Quinn gets on my tits in general too.
Co-commentators seeing a goal-line incident replay from a raised camera angle, seeing a bit of grass between the ball (in the air) and the line, and saying ‘It’s clearly over the line’.
The word “Tekkers”. Altho that can go under the Soccer Am one. And commentators saying “If he put it to the left or right of the keeper”…Well duh! The World Cup in Qatar. And the big one….. Sepp Blatter.
Any chance you could include Craig Burley twice?
Oops, just realised that Sepp is already there!
101. Liam Ridgewell
102. “He’s human after all”
Having to hear Gary Neville’s orgasm sound and liking it
Parking the bus.
Hearing the commentator and pundits applaud a team of orcs who park said bus and kick and hack their way to an undeserved draw. Only to be told that they deserved that.
As an arsenal fan, it’s been x years since they won anything… Every game….. I KNOW
“Game of two halves”
Sepp Blatter should be on there 3 times.
The horrible and annoying FIFA order to change traditional uniforms to one or two-colored ones.
#22 could simply be shortened to “Match of the Day”.
It really should’ve been….
20. Multi-coloured boots
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